Feeling nervous before a first date is common. You might be planning for a romantic dinner or an active outing like mini-golf. Either way, showing your best side while being real is key. Licensed professional counselor Bonnie Scott says it’s crucial to be yourself. This helps see if there’s a real connection. First dates help figure out if there’s chemistry and shared likes. But, it’s smart to avoid making negative comments. Early teasing might not come off right before they get your humor.
Relationship guru Susan Trotter, PhD, cautions about giving too many compliments or “love bombing.” She says to take things slow and let the relationship grow over time. Christina Granahan, a licensed clinical social worker, agrees. She says talking badly about exes shows poorly on your self-awareness and responsibility. It’s important to dodge these mistakes to make a great first impression.
Key Takeaways
- Avoid excessive compliments or discussing future plans too early, as it can be overwhelming.
- Steer clear of talking about past relationships or ex-partners to create a positive first impression.
- Focus on neutral and light-hearted topics to build chemistry on a date.
- Be aware that discussing sexual history on a first date can be a red flag for many individuals.
- Maintain a genuine interest in your date’s personality and shared interests without diving into personal trauma.
Avoid Discussing Exes and Past Relationships
First dates should be about making a great impression. They set the stage for a possible new relationship. Bringing up past relationships, especially exes, can create awkward moments and raise red flags.
Negative Impact of Discussing Exes
Talking about exes on a first date might show you’re stuck in the past. Dr. Christina Granahan points out that blaming ex-partners can seem like you’re not reflective. Also, talking about past injuries or traumas can scare your date more than it brings you closer.
“Engaging in trauma dumping is often seen as a red flag,” says relationship expert Susan Trotter, PhD. “It can make the other person feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable.”
Being confident is vital for a good first impression. It’s wise to avoid topics that could show you in a bad light.
Alternatives to Discussing Past Relationships
Rather than dwelling on exes, focus on the future. Talk about your goals and what you’ve learned from past relationships. This shifts the discussion to growth and what lies ahead. Stick to healthy topics like hobbies, travels, and shared interests to build a connection.